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Pig Pen: Dallas Roadtrip Hogette Style

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After being asked to be an honorary Hogette for the Dallas game, I remember the first thing I thought of was where am I going to find a dress?

I soon learned that the dress would be the least of my worries, when it comes to “dressing out” for a game as a Hogette. I picked out a nice black dress with pink flowers from the local Goodwill to go with the hog nose and hat that Howiette so kindly provided. As Howiette would say it is a Calvin Swine original! For those of you wondering, I’m a size 24! Then came the tough task of accessorizing – for this I had to pull out my Hogettes poster and study. I didn’t want to stray to far off the Hogettes dress code, but at the same time I wanted something original. So after getting the standards (purse, beads, buttons and pins) I added a pair of burgundy and gold Nikes I had seen in the store a few weeks earlier and then added a pair of NFL gloves to my outfit. These were not just any gloves: these were Marcus Washington’s gloves!

The first thing you notice after getting off the plane in Dallas in September is the heat; 100-degree temperatures bore down on us during our stay in Dallas. Linda Morin, our hostess for the weekend picked us up. I want to send out a big THANKS to Linda and John for putting up with us. It’s bad enough when you have to put up people but to take care of four pigs for the weekend was going above and beyond! After a short rest we dressed up for the charity auction at Austin Avenue Grill hosted by The Burgundy and Gold Club of Plano. TX. What a crowd! These are some of the most rabid fans you’ll find outside of the beltway. Our host for the evening was Burgundy and Gold Club President Chad Costa. Chad did an outstanding job auctioning off Redskins memorabilia, highlighted by autographed photos of numerous Redskins courtesy of All the proceeds from the auction went to the local children’s hospitals we visited.

On Monday morning it was time to spread some good will to local area hospitals. Our first visit was to Children’s Hospital of Dallas. This was a great visit right up until we ran into a playroom called the end zone, complete with a huge Cowboys helmet autographed by Troy Aikman with a huge mural painted on all the walls- of course this was just an awesome room courtesy of the Dallas Cowboys who make frequent visits to the hospital. Then it was off to the Scottish Rite Hospital for more of the same. I met several children who really touched me; the courage some of these kids have is incredible. To see these kids’ faces light up when we walked into the room was the highlight of my trip. As great as the game turned out for the Redskins, the visits to the hospitals reminds you that it is just a game.

We arrived at Texas stadium four hours before the game. As expected, there was a buzz around the stadium that can be attributed to Monday Night Football in the NFL. Our tailgate was 150 — and at times over 250 — strong as Redskins fan after Redskin fan came by to share in the pre-game festivities and sip on the official drink of the Redskins Tailgate party: ”The Bloody Jerry”. Among the group were THN regulars gayforpacman and marcusbenimble. The family of Redskins running back Rock Cartwright also joined us. As we entered the stadium (by far and away the worst stadium I’ve ever been in) we were greeted by cheers and jeers alike. During the game we were treated to a chorus of Redskins Suck!! At halftime, the Cowboys inducted some guys named Aikman, Irvin and Smith. I figured this would be a good time to use the bathroom. Of course you can’t go to the restroom as a Hogette without getting mauled by the fans for pictures and autographs from fans of both teams – especially the women. It’s amazing what some women will do to a guy in a pig nose and a dress! By the time I got back to my seat the Cowboys had increased their lead to 10-0. As the fourth quarter begin, I remember seeing some long Redskins’ faces, so I decided to try and get them up by leading the cheering. I can’t begin to explain the feeling of being in Dallas when our beloved Redskins stole the game. It took us over an hour to exit the stadium as elated Skins fans attacked us and dejected Cowboys fans offered up congratulations to us and asked for our picture. I hate to admit it but the Cowboys fans treated us very well.

As happy as I was to escape Texas Stadium with a win little did I know the city of Dallas would get the last laugh. When I arrived at the airport I was informed that my flight was late and would cause me to miss my connecting flight. I was able to get a flight out on another airline, but as luck would have it, I was singled out for an “extensive security screening”. As I was getting “wanded”, imagine my embarrassment as the security guard was pulling a purse, dress and wig out of my bag!!

I tried to explain, but he wasn’t a football fan, or if he was, he was a Dallas fan and didn’t appreciate the Skins hat and jersey I had on. What a great ending to a great trip. I’m 1-0 in Big D and have every intention on going back next year to make it 2-0. It will be good to get back to FedEx and to get back in to men’s clothing!!

See ya at the Stadium.


Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Dan Hines

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