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Honey, get me the defibrillator paddles, the Redskins are on.

They never make it easy, do they?  First a dominating performance turned into a loss last week, and then another dominating performance almost turned into a potential loss this week.  They should ship a free season’s supply of heart medicine with my subscription to Sunday Ticket.  They can call it an ugly win, but hey, it’s a win nonetheless.  You know what they say about bad sex – and if you’re not old enough to know what they say about bad sex, then what they say is that you should wait until you’re married for bad sex, so don’t do it.  The rest of you know what I’m talking about. 

And let the critics critique.  Let them say that we lost to the lowly Rams (Strahan even went so far as to say that the Rams beat us ‘handily’ – what?) and barely beat the Browns.  If you watched those games from start to finish, you’d see that the Redskins – most of the time – are winning the game.  They punish the opposition on offense and defense.  The problem the past two weeks have been untimely mistakes.  As the season progresses, you would expect that those mistakes will fade, and the true talent of this team will shine through. 

Once again this week, a snooze-fest in the first half made it difficult to generate any drivel, but, alas, if you wait long enough, the drivel will come.  As Master Yoda says, ‘There is no try.  Drivel or don’t drivel.’

Somebody call the casting director.  I’m no offensive genius, but I just can’t see the logic in an end-around to Davis.  Sure, the guy is big and athletic, but any linebacker will cut him off at the edge, and any d-back will be able to run up and stuff him.  Seems like a wasted play to me.

*Yawn*  The first half felt like overtime – the first team to score wins.

It’s a bird, it’s a plane…  Rogers’ hit on Cribbs actually sent him flying through the air.  I think you could hear his ribs breaking.  A thing of beauty.

Speaking of which…  Who are you, and what have you done with Carlos Rogers?!?

*Burp!*  For those of you wondering what happened to Durant Brooks, our new 247-pound punter ate him.

Excuses, excuses.  While the offense did struggle with third down conversions in the first half, their rhythm seemed to flow, and then be interrupted by a dumb play call for a loss (see Davis end-around above), a penalty (were the refs picky on the holding calls or is it just me?), or poor field position.  If the Redskins had the Browns’ field position in the first half, the game would have been over by the first intermission.

One of these things is not like the other…  The Browns get 8 chances inside the ten yard line, and it takes them all 8 to score.  The Redskins get the ball on the two after Randle El’s catch, and it takes them exactly one play to punch it in.  That’s the difference between a good team and a not so good team.

Speaking of which…  Outstanding day for the defense.  Two goal line stands that included a flying London Fletcher, a extremely violent hit on Lewis by Rocky, and some smart defensive line play.  The D seems to relish the opportunity to stuff guys on the goal line. 

Thank goodness for shoelaces.  The first goal line stand was set up by a diving, touchdown-saving tackle by Chris Horton.  The guy was all over the field again this week.  The league should just save themselves the trouble and ship the Defensive Rookie of the Year award to him now.

Rated R for violent scenes.  Browns, welcome to the NFC East.  The Redskins played violently, and it seemed to rattle the Browns.  I saw no one (aside from Jamal Lewis) hit any Redskins hard, meanwhile, the Redskins were popping Browns in all three phases.

I can’t hear you, I’ve got a banana in my ear.  I’ve noticed that Danny Smith yells not only when the special teams does something wrong, but also when they do something right.  I’ve come to the conclusion that perhaps he just yells all the time.  Maybe he has a hearing problem.  Maybe the scene at his house in the morning goes something like this:

Danny: OKAY HONEY, I’LL SEE YOU TONIGHT.

Danny’s wife: You don’t have to yell, I’m five feet away from you.

Danny:  NO, I’LL GRAB SOME LUNCH AT THE PARK.  BUT THANKS FOR THE OFFER.

Danny’s wife: Honey, maybe you should get your hearing checked.

Danny: RIGHT, I KNOW, I CAN’T BELIEVE THE DOG PEED ON YOUR SHOES AGAIN EITHER.

Nil Ill Will.  Boy, if Cribbshad ‘ill will’ towards the Redskins before the game, imagine how he feels after getting knocked around all day by them.

Not the XXXXXXX drive, but the other one.  My favorite part of the third quarter scoring drive was the YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.  As the CBS graphic noted, it was a critical part of the touchdown.  We should have more of those.

All day.  Part of the success of the offense has been the ability to gain meaningful yards on first down.  I lost count of how many 2nd and five situations the Redskins created for themselves on Sunday.  It’s a huge luxury to feel confident that a Portis run or quick JC pass will generate a second and short, which allows so much more flexibility with what you can do on the next two plays.

Expletive of the Week Award goes to… Josh Cribbs, after being hit by Rogers (and returning to reality), asking if anyone got the number on that *bleeping* truck that just hit him.

You’re jealous, admit it.  Sure, all of you who attended the game got to see Santana Moss’ spectacular spin move, and the defense’s great third down goal line stop, but you did not get to see the fabulous watch that guy in front of the camera was wearing.  Wow.  Faded gold – peeling, actually, but with numbers and a second hand and everything.  I bet it glows in the dark too.  Hey, some of us are just lucky.  The rest of you have to sit in that stadium and miss the real action.

The Lions are on tap, and I have two words: blow out.  Or is that one word?  Anyway, that’s what I want.  I want the NFL to update the standings at halftime because it’s such a blow out.  I want Colt Brennan in to take a knee in the third quarter.  I want to see if the scoreboard can handle three digits on the Redskins side.  But, knowing the Redskins blatant disregard for my health so far, it’ll probably be a nail-biter to the end.

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