Scooter's 6 Pack: Cowboys
By: Scott Moore 
Posted: 2004-09-29
Category: Washington Redskins News
1. Save a Horse, Ride a Zebra

The Cowboys didn't need to ride their horses in DC, they rode the NFL's finest zebras. The score, Redskins 18, Zebras 14, Cowboys 7. This may sound like sour grapes to some - you better believe it! The referees decided the game on Monday Night. A pathetically inept crew of useless individuals in striped shirts decided the game. An obvious Offensive Pass Interference Penalty was instead called against the Redskins. As Rod Gardner was reaching for a ball in the end zone a Cowboy DB tugged on his left shoulder. The referee was overheard to say - aw, how cute. No flag on the play. A hard fought game was decided by the boys in striped shirts. Instead of watching a football game, viewers were treated to a poker game. The refs were the dealers, shuffling through the deck to give the edge to one player - the Cowboys were given the game.

2. Anatomy of an Apology

In the coming days, we as Redskin Fans will see an "Official Apology" from the NFL. None of the officials will lose their jobs. The outcome will not be changed. The league will state that the officials made a mistake and an apology will be put forth. I believe I speak for all Redskin fans when I say - don't bother. OK, you might have said something different...using words like, "shove" and "stick." But we're on the same page. Whatever happens will not be enough - so why bother.

3. Ice Coles

I'm a big fan of Laveranues Coles. He's been through a lot as a person. He comes from a single-parent-home and has fought to earn his way in the NFL. His performance on Monday Night was as bad as any performance I've ever witnessed. This one ranks with the lowest of the low - Gus slams his own head; Turk turked it up; Novaldumas. Coles shouldn't see action next week. He also owes me $4,372.05. I have a "cuss jar" that is now full - thanks to Coles. My wife and I are going to Cancun with all the words I spent in expressing my "feelings" towards Coles and his feeble effort. How much does he owe you?

4. Hot Rod

On the flip side, Rod Gardner was on FIRE! He caught everything thrown his way - except for being interfered with as previously discussed. Gardner caught long balls, fast balls, first-downs, touchdowns and extra points. At the end of the game, with the clock winding down, Gardner made a heroic effort to catch a ball and get out of bounds. But he couldn't will the Redskins to victory. But it wasn't for lack of trying. Monday Night against the Cowboys was a true, break-out game for Gardner. He IS the Redskins #1 WR.

5. D

The Skins defense played another good game. Three plays were given up by the Skins defense. Antonio Bryant out-played Fred Smoot on a ball that Smoot had in his sights. The Pokes executed a perfect trick play for a score. With the clock dwindling, and the Skins having wasted their time-outs, they gave up a nine-yard pass play on a critical 3 & 8. That's it! The remainder of the game was dominated by the Skins defense. The Cowboys were 5 of 13 in third down conversions. They Cowboys had 50 rushing yards and held the ball for 10 minutes less than the Redskins. The Skins defense played well enough to get the Skins a win. Still, they didn't score any points for the Skins - which it looks like they'll have to do in the future. Smoot included, this unit played a great game!

6. Dubious

Al Michaels correctly dubbed the Pass Interference call against the Skins as, "dubious." Then Michaels fell in love with the word. He used it again to describe an obvious non-call, detrimental to the Skins effort. Then he requested a song by the Dubious Brothers be played while he closed the show. He then went to his hotel room and smoked two dubious. He watched Debbie does Dubious in his hotel room. If I could come up with four more ways to use the word, "dubious," we'd have used it as many times as Al "Dubious" Michaels. Yo Al! Buy a thesaurus!

-- Scooter
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