Scooter's 6 Pack: Steelers
By: Scott Moore 
Posted: 2004-12-03
Category: Washington Redskins News
1. Special Ed

Not since the days of LeCharles McDaniel has the Redskins McSpecial Teams, LeStunk so badly as it did against the Steelers. Punt returns cost the Skins 10 points, indirectly, with outstanding field position. The Steelers Antwan Randle- El is a super player with great skills. At some point during the week, it "might" have been mentioned to a few of the special teams coverage unit... or not. In either case, this team cannot afford to play McSpecial Teams again.

2. Jerome Bettis Needs a Nickname

I'm amazed that a guy with as many years in the NFL as Jerome Bettis has amassed, he doesn't have a nickname. How about Senor Giganto, referring to the fact that each butt cheek represents 20 % of his body mass. Maybe he could be named for some sort of large buttocks animal, like a hippopotamus? Maybe he could be named after a train or a truck? It's really amazing to me that he truly doesn't have a nickname. If you can think of one, please send it to www.mybigassneedsanickname.com

3. What's Black and White

What's black and white, throws yellow flags and bets on football games? Right, Paul McCartney, Stevie Wonder and Pete Rose. NOT. It's our old pals in the striped shirts at it again. Not only were there non-calls against obvious pass interference penalties against their team - the Steelers, but there were fake calls against the Redskins. They actually called Sean Taylor for a 15-yard, "Hurting the Feelings of a Steeler" Penalty. I hadn't heard of that infraction prior to Sunday... maybe I should update my rule book.

4. Royal Missed

Robert Royal is finding his way into the open, but is routinely missed. While other WR's continue to drop balls (hello Mr. Gardner, hello again, Mr. Gardner), and others pretend to throw flags instead of catching the damn ball (hello Mr. Coles, hello Mr. Coles, uhm... that's your job Mr. Coles). Cooley can't catch every pass on every play - why not throw to the guy that nobody expects the ball to go to - Robert Royal. He's on the roster. He runs routes - and he's open on almost every play. No, he's not on my fantasy team!

5. No Maas

If I wanted to listen to a guy do a three-and-a-half hour imitation of John Madden, I'd pick Frank Caliendo - the comic from Mad TV. At least he'd be funny, at most, he'd actually be watching the same game as I was watching. Bill "Usta" Maas, earned his nickname because he, used to (usta) (YOU-STUH) play football. Just a little phrase that Bill uses prior to every other sentence. It's even more frustrating when your team is getting beat, but I might watch the next game without sound.

6. G-Stringers

The New York Giants are limping, whining, playing second and third string guys against the Redskins on Sunday. Oh, you thought I was going to talk about the new, Jeremy Shockey calendar didn't you? I hear he's selling autographed, with or without mustard, for $10.00 a piece. Bill Maas bought two, with mustard. Outside of that sales boom, things have been slow. If there was ever a really good time to beat up on a sub par football team - it's this Sunday against the Giants!

-- Scooter
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