Xmas Poem for the Board

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DarthMonk
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Xmas Poem for the Board

Postby DarthMonk » Thu Dec 19, 2013 5:13 pm

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,

All of Darth’s family was drunk as a louse;

Welch and 1niksder were singin’ a song,

While langleyparkjoe was hittin’ the bong;

The gratefully Deadman was all snug in his bed,

While visions of sugar-cubes danced in his head;

And Trey in his 'kerchief, and Bru in his cap,

Had just settled down to hit on the tap;

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

SkinsJock awoke to see what was the matter;

Away to the window he flew like a flash,

Accidentally scattering LPJ’s stash;

The Moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,

Gave the lustre of mid-day to SouthLondon’s blow;

When, what to SkinsJock’s dazed eyes should appear,

But freaking Bruce Allen, agrin ear-to-ear;

With a little old driver, right next to Shanny,

He knew in a moment it must be The Danny;

More rapid than eagles his coaches they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Kyle! now, Jim! now, Bobby and Keith!,

To the top of the porch! And look out for the wreath!;

As the dry heaves that from McNugget’s gut surge,

When they meet with the pressure, that can cause him to purge;

So up to the house-top the coaches they flew,

With the sleigh full of playbooks, and bad game plans too;

And then, in a twinkling, SJ heard on the roof,

The prancing and pawing of each little goof;

As I quaffed one more Belgian, and was turning around,

St. Shanny sans Danny arrived with a bound;

He was dressed in a Speedo, his chest a stark white,

His lobster-esque face giving SkinsJock a fright;

Free agent contracts he had flung on his back,

With 16 extra million stuffed in his pack;

His brow -- how wrinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nipples quite scary!

His droll little mouth was drawn up in a sneer,

And the stubble on his chin made me spit up some beer;

He tapped out his pipe on an old window sill,

Which langleyparkjoe did gladly refill;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his job,

With two little elves - the Captain and Bob;

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

He mistakenly snorted all of SJ’s NoDoze;

Whence he sprang to his sleigh, headed north for the Pole,

Saying "Happy Christmas to all, and don’t feed the troll!"
Hog Bowl III, V Champion (2011, 2013)

Hognostication Champion (2011, 2013)


Scalp 'em, Swamp 'em,
We will take 'em big score!
Read 'em, Weep 'em Touchdown,
We want heap more!

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Re: Xmas Poem for the Board

Postby Neo » Thu Dec 19, 2013 5:47 pm

DarthMonk wrote:'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,

All of Darth’s family was drunk as a louse;

Welch and 1niksder were singin’ a song,

While langleyparkjoe was hittin’ the bong;

The gratefully Deadman was all snug in his bed,

While visions of sugar-cubes danced in his head;

And Trey in his 'kerchief, and Bru in his cap,

Had just settled down to hit on the tap;

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

SkinsJock awoke to see what was the matter;

Away to the window he flew like a flash,

Accidentally scattering LPJ’s stash;

The Moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,

Gave the lustre of mid-day to SouthLondon’s blow;

When, what to SkinsJock’s dazed eyes should appear,

But freaking Bruce Allen, agrin ear-to-ear;

With a little old driver, right next to Shanny,

He knew in a moment it must be The Danny;

More rapid than eagles his coaches they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Kyle! now, Jim! now, Bobby and Keith!,

To the top of the porch! And look out for the wreath!;

As the dry heaves that from McNugget’s gut surge,

When they meet with the pressure, that can cause him to purge;

So up to the house-top the coaches they flew,

With the sleigh full of playbooks, and bad game plans too;

And then, in a twinkling, SJ heard on the roof,

The prancing and pawing of each little goof;

As I quaffed one more Belgian, and was turning around,

St. Shanny sans Danny arrived with a bound;

He was dressed in a Speedo, his chest a stark white,

His lobster-esque face giving SkinsJock a fright;

Free agent contracts he had flung on his back,

With 16 extra million stuffed in his pack;

His brow -- how wrinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nipples quite scary!

His droll little mouth was drawn up in a sneer,

And the stubble on his chin made me spit up some beer;

He tapped out his pipe on an old window sill,

Which langleyparkjoe did gladly refill;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his job,

With two little elves - the Captain and Bob;

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

He mistakenly snorted all of SJ’s NoDoze;

Whence he sprang to his sleigh, headed north for the Pole,

Saying "Happy Christmas to all, and don’t feed the troll!"


=D> :lol:

Nicely done, Sir!
"I'm trying to be as honest as I can; I don't normally do that." -Mike Shanahan

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Re: Xmas Poem for the Board

Postby Kilmer72 » Thu Dec 19, 2013 6:43 pm

LMAO!!! Very entertaining.

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Re: Xmas Poem for the Board

Postby SkinsJock » Fri Dec 20, 2013 11:11 am

DM - thanx for that - you have missed your calling …

=D>
It's taken years for the Redskins to become as bad as we are - there is no way that the team is going to be consistently competitive in 2016
we'll win some games but it will take years to be good again

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Re: Xmas Poem for the Board

Postby Irn-Bru » Fri Dec 20, 2013 3:24 pm

=D>

Nicely done! Very entertaining.
"Last year I thought we'd win it all. This year I know we will." - Rex Ryan, on what would become the 8-8 2011 Jets

"Dream team." - Vince Young, on what would become the 8-8 2011 Eagles

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Re: Xmas Poem for the Board

Postby Deadskins » Sat Dec 21, 2013 9:38 am

Irn-Bru wrote:=D>

Nicely done! Very entertaining.

+1
Hey LPJ, pass that over here!
Andre Carter wrote:Damn man, you know your football.


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Hail to the Redskins!

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Re: Xmas Poem for the Board

Postby cowboykillerzRGiii » Wed Dec 25, 2013 9:59 pm

EPIC!
You have even more spare time then Sj :twisted:
Very clever, fun, entertaining, and on point... I'm proud of you!
Merry Cre-ma peeps!
#21 forever in our hearts
...and yet ANOTHER record setting performance by "RG3 the third"!!!!
“I wanted to just… put his lights out ….because, you know, …Dallas sucks…” - Dexter Manley

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Re: Xmas Poem for the Board

Postby Countertrey » Thu Dec 26, 2013 7:36 am

I'm still struggling with misty eyes... booooo teee fullll.
"That's a clown question, bro"
- - - - - - - - - - Bryce Harper, DC Statesman
"But Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man
That he didn't, didn't already have"
- - - - - - - - - - Dewey Bunnell, America

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Re: Xmas Poem for the Board

Postby SkinsJock » Thu Dec 26, 2013 12:47 pm

cowboykillerzRGiii wrote:EPIC!
You have even more spare time then Sj :twisted:
Very clever, fun, entertaining, and on point... I'm proud of you!
Merry Cre-ma peeps!


:D
It's taken years for the Redskins to become as bad as we are - there is no way that the team is going to be consistently competitive in 2016
we'll win some games but it will take years to be good again

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