[DarthMonk]

Brief (hopefully) introductory sentence preparing reader for gist of post. Continuation of opening paragraph intended to bring reader to brink of correctly anticipating thesis about to ensue.

Claim or thesis statement often incorporating and generally boiling down to the title of the thread.

Brief digression expressing humility while actually designed to gain sympathy and hopefully support of reader (IMHO).

Beginning of anecdotal evidence in support of thesis often including, but not requiring, additional seemingly reasonable but factually unsupported speculations designed to lend further credence to the title of the thread. Tangential speculations that add nothing to the argument but which potentially spawn quoted rebuttals. Statement of supporting stats to follow.

Cherry picked stats which, upon closer examination, sometimes actually prove title of the thread to be incorrect.

Appropriate emoticon.

www.link_showing_stats_are_real.com

Appeal to alleged authority, whose qualifications are often completely irrelevant, in attempt to further bolster legitimacy of the title of the thread followed by general call to readers for comments and possible alternative positions.

Hopefully clever username designed to invoke admiration of reader and perhaps even a little envy.

[BnGhog]

The title of this thread is wrong!

I have a link to prove this but I couldn't get it to work, you'll just have to take my word for it.








edited because I can't type or spell

[joebagadonuts]

One-liner sarcastic/witty comment in reply, ambiguous in nature.

[DarthMonk]

[BnGhog]

Not to be out done, poster must respond in an effort to keep up.







Even though he knows, he is in a losing battle.

[Fios]

Quoted post that utilizes emoticons to indicate whether replier is supportive of or angered by whatever the quoted post is expressing

[Irn-Bru]

Reference to other unrelated debate that I've had with Username. Bashing of Username's current position based on older, unresolved dispute. Rolling eyes to show general disdain. Can't get my head around the fact that Username won't agree with me on this.

Disclaimer sentence designed to show that I'm attacking the post and not the person.

Attempt to ease tension by rekindling inside joke with other poster as though we have some kind of meaningful relationship on an internet message board.

[BnGhog]

Acknowlege of attempt to ease tension by stating and understaning of what other poster is saying.

But the poster can't let it go and continues to respond to only the bits and peices that the poster can prove while ingnoring and not responding to others.

Quote of only small portions of previous posts.

More cherry picked stats to prove a very closed minded point.

Then ending the post by saying somthing to appear to be open minded.

[Fios]

Generic moderator warning imploring the waring parties to abide by the personal attack rules. This is often followed by one of the two parties asking how they violated said rule and accusing the other person of more egregious violations. Moderator is then forced to reiterate that the thread has not been moved or locked and that the post was a reminder to adhere to the rules, not an admonishment.

[UK Skins Fan]

No, I have no idea what anybody here is talking about.

[DarthMonk]

[DarthMonk]

[Irn-Bru]

Re-entry into the thread, claiming to have "thought it over more." Stated opinion clearly has not changed, but "fresh look" ethos contributes to a rhetorical edge. Seeming willingness to reconsider opinion makes Username look more extreme in holding to his view so strongly.

Development of fresh thoughts combined with new selected statistics to make Username's argument appear antediluvian and not taking into account today's NFL. Reference (of ambiguous nature) to other franchises who have had greater success than the Redskins in recent seasons. Point out that, among about 8,000 variables, they happen to embody my version of this argument, not Username's.

Correlation proves causation. Checkmate, Irn-Bru.

[Countertrey]

Use of multiple "rolling on the floor laughing my ass off" smilies to indicate that I think the previous poster is both riotously funny and totally clueless... (but also provides the givaway that I have no idea what he just said)

[Hoss]

semi-funny random interjection from poster uninvolved.

emoticons